Second part of the excerpt 4B as promised. Written in present tense. Thanks for the suggestion, Brian. Read part one of excerpt 4B here.
Moji never disappoints.
Her eyes flash like crazy Christmas lights, except it isn’t Christmas. She turns red, blue and red again under her caramel skin. The rouge blusher does her no favours.
"Is this what I get after three years of loving you, Michael? I tried to be everything you would want in a good wife!”
"Is this what I get after three years of loving you, Michael? I tried to be everything you would want in a good wife!”
"Screaming is unnecessary, Moji". My voice is nothing more than a whisper.
Dealing with emotional volatility isn't a distinct hobby of mine. If there is one group of the human species I'm ill-equipped to deal with, it's the easily excitable.
Moji looks away from me. Her chest heaves upwards and downwards in what seems like nanoseconds.
I stare ahead as I continue. "It was your decision to break us up, Moji. Why are you twisting this?"
Moji's gaze settles on the Chris Ofili's painting on the wall facing her.
She leans forward and speaks in a voice barely audible.
"I want you to stop seeing that cougar. Do you hear me?"
"I want you to stop seeing that cougar. Do you hear me?"
The banshee screeching just a minute ago has disappeared. The juxtaposition of her split persona like sliding doors, Moji has a knack of giving me chills.
I get up from the sofa and deliver what I hope would be the end to our soap opera.
“There's nothing left to be said, Moji. I wish you well.”
The next thing…Moji is on her knees, grabbing mine.
She looks up at me with a tear stained face. Tears roll along both cheeks to her chin.
“How can you do this to me, Michael Araba? What have I done to deserve this? Am I *oja gbanjo* to put out in the street?" Tell me!
My knees, like her tears, ache in her strong grip.
I want to hold her.
*Oja gbanjo* (Yoruba language): cheap goods*
© Adura Ojo 2012 What's Age Got to Do With it (WIP)
*Oja gbanjo* (Yoruba language): cheap goods*
© Adura Ojo 2012 What's Age Got to Do With it (WIP)
Hi Adura! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI love this in present tense. It has so much more immediacy to it. The tension seems heightened with the rewrite. Love this story. Hope it's going well.
Denise x
Happy New Year, Denise! Hope you're good. Appreciate the feedback. I like writing in present tense and might stick to it. Glad you like this. It is kind of going well so far. I need more discipline to keep up the pace though.
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